Have you ever stopped to consider that we are all the sum of parts that various others have given us? I think we can all point to a person and realize that we have gained a feature, an attribute, an attitude, an outlook, a habit or a way of being from them. For myself, I have been reflecting today on the major influences in my life that have made me who I am. Some are obvious. My mother and father clearly had a large influence on me as did other family members. Some are not so obvious and may even surprise you. I'd like to take a few minutes and list a few people who gave of themselves to me as a sort of thank you to them as we approach a new year.

My father taught me that no matter what happens to you or what crosses you have to bear, you can rise above it all to become a better person. You can make changes in your life at any age, in any economic climate, no matter what is handed you with or without support and create a good life. He also taught me that being who you are is not only OK, it is imperative to true happiness.

My mother taught me forgiveness. I may never know the true circumstances surrounding why she left me as a child but I realize now it doesn't matter. She loves me and that is enough. She showed me that it is OK to make a mistake if you truly repent and try and fix it. If you can't fix it, it is enough to demonstrate that you will never make the same mistake again. Forgiveness brings peace. I thank her for being patient with me until I discovered that.

My ex-wife Tina taught me that family is everything. No matter what you do or where you go in life, to have family is to be wealthy beyond measure. She also taught me to lead with an open heart in my dealings with others. She showed me acceptance and trust and provided me with security, comfort and support and that has pushed me to provide the same to others. She showed me it was OK to love babies of all kinds and that everyone is worth something. She gave me an example of what a loving step-parent should be and I have tried to emulate her example in that regard as well.

My friend Andrew taught me faith. Faith in others and faith in a higher power. We don't share the same higher power per se' but his example made it OK for me to be open to faith in a higher power and that has helped me through a lot of struggles. His ability to be patient and loving with others and his efforts to include friends from years past in his life has given me an example to follow. He has shown me how a man should be and I can only hope to be 1/2 the person he is.

His partner (and my friend) Lynn taught me acceptance. Acceptance of who I am and acceptance of the love between us. It is a platonic love but it is just as strong as any romantic love I could feel and her acceptance and return of that love helped me to have the same thing with others. People say Andrew and I are a lot alike and that may be true. However, I suspect Lynn and I have a lot in common as well and I will never forget the 7 hour talk we had driving to St Catharines from Blind River. We shared a lot that day and our acceptance of each other helped me in many relationships since.

My friend Chris taught me humility. As one of the most talented people I know he could have an overblown ego and people would probably let it pass but that's not him. He uses his talents and is appreciative of praise but he is always striving for better. He is never satisfied with "good enough"and will work very hard to reach where *he* thinks he should be, not where others are satisfied with him. He also showed me that it's OK to love my partner with all I have and to always put the other person ahead of myself. Chris is an amazing human being and I am blessed to know him.

His partner (and my friend) Shelly taught me sacrifice and discovery. Sacrifice in the way she continues to work at a job she hates because she knows it's what she needs to do to allow her and Chris to continue to explore their creative sides. She is not the only one who sacrifices, certainly, but I know how much she wants to get away from where she is and I respect her for handling it so well. Discovery in the way she has worked so hard to stretch her talents and abilities to write more than poetry. She branched out to songs and stories even though she didn't know how to "do it right". She asked for advice and input from those she trusted and loved and broadened her creative horizons. That has led me to do the same with my writing by working on my articulation, wordsmithing and even branching out from songwriting into prose.

My friend Pat taught me Love with a capital "L". Love for others, love for myself, love for my partner, love for music and creativity, love as the most powerful force in the universe. Feeling and experiencing the love Pat always offered made such a difference in me and how I fit in the world. If someone can be held up as a true guru to me, Pat would be the one. I try and follow his loving example every day.

Teri, my partner, has given me all of the above and more. She has given of herself to me openly and honestly on a level I have never experienced before and she makes it safe for me to do the same. I am more in synch with her than I have ever been with anyone else ever. The words "soul mate" get bandied about as a romantic notion but I truly believe I have found that with her. The love and respect that flows from her is exactly what I need and our communication is beyond my dreams. In every relationship I have ever been in, there has always been an element of "settling". There has been a behavior, a belief or a habit that caused me discomfort but I felt that if I could see past that element, I could be happy with a person. Tina came close and I admit to having most of the baggage that contributed to our downfall but with Teri, there is no such thing. We connect on an intellectual, emotional, spiritual and sexual level completely and it is an awesome experience. I wish it for everyone.

Obviously, there are more people and more elements but this entry is in danger of becoming a novel. I will simply say thank you to all mentioned and non-mentioned for all they have given me and continue to give me. I love and respect you all greatly.

Thank you for giving me "me".
Faron